Overnighter

Hello to all,
So I had my first overnighter here in Afghanistan. It was pretty boring, and kinda disgusting. I went out with my old platoon to a local village and stayed the night at the district center....There were lots of people in and out and people making food and drinks, etc. When we first arrived I was starving, so I went to the smell good area where an individual was making bread. Im gonna call him my Chi biatch. Chi meaning tea in afghanistan (pashtu). Anyways he was sitting there finishing up the bread (Dorday) which is like flat bread, really good. So i ate some, unTILL I SAW HIM MAKE IT LATER THAT NIGHT. We went there to teach the local afghan police how to preform day to day task (most of them illiterate). We got to play chess (none of them new how to play, so i whopped their butt in it) punks..lol...Ate dinner, drank lots n lots of Chi, and talked about local economy and religion (something not to do obviously, they are very hardheaded).
Anyways, back to Chi biatch. I beleive this guy had some gayness goin on, cause in their culture, MAN on MAN is normal. NOT SO MUCH FOR ME. He kept wanting to talk to me and sittin all close and crap. Then he made his move, only to get rejected. FAG. Put his hand on my leg, "O NO, this is a little awkward, take that shit somewhere else". Slap his hand away. I think he got the point.
CAUTION:
Anyways, after awhile, nature called, and I had to take care of some business, only to find out it was more like a workout. I finally found the bathroom, brought my own ultra soft tissue paper, only to find a hole cut in the middle of the floor with mounds of liquid poop just below. I had to sit aside my pride and pop a squat (literally). It looked like I ran a marathon after that. Could barely stand up from squating so long. And these people dont use Toilet paper. They do the two finger swipe and then rinse with water. GROSS.
CHI BIATCH:
Not only did this guy make chi all the time, but he made the bread. I went over to watch and take pictures. He takes the dough and molds it, after slam dunking it several times, kinda like homemade pizza dough. "ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT WAS THIS GUY PROB DID THE TWO FINGER SWIPE EARLIER." No gloves, just all hands up in there. Then he takes his shirt off, dips it in a pan of dirty water and washes his hands and arms with it (pit stains and all). I thought he was done. O NO. He wringes it out, then proceeds to cleans the dough pan with it, and then LAYS IT ON THE DOUGH, to save for later.
AND WE STILL ATE THAT BREAD LATER. Im gonna end of with some kinda disease over here.
Then I noticed the Chi glasses, where the same dirty chi glasses everyone and their momma had been drinking out of. They take a teaspoon of new chi, rinse it around the cup, and WAAAALAAAA.. it is magically clean.. DRINK UP....It got to the point, when they werent looking, i would chunk it off to the side and be like UM UMM that was good. NO MORE THANKS.
Anyways, other than that, nothing new. Hope all is well with everyone, until next time.

JCOP (week 1-2)

Well, I have been here for almost 2 weeks now. Everything here is nice, cant complain. I wake up every morning prob roun 730 or 0800, becuase Celia keeps me on the computer and phone so long at night. I get to work out everyday at our nice gym, play on the computer, and call family. There are alot of nice scenery around here, mountains over look this place with a small village not to far away. There is only a couple paved roads, and they dont last very long. Takes up to 2 hours to go like 20 miles, and its a bumpy road. I almost threw up last time i went on a drive. Almost 3 hours one way, then had to come back. May have the DOC give me some motion sickness pills.

I have got to go out several times and talk with villagers, sub governors, and chief of police. It is a unique experience talking through an interpretor with you having no idea what they are saying. The last time I went out, we were paying local people for work they had done on a road project (pretty much smoothing out the road cause its pretty bumpy). This kid in the village stole my pen. Him and his little juvenille friends were all playing around and came over to me with paper and asked for a pen. The only english this kid new was "PEN" "PEN". So I was like sure Ill let him see the pen real quick. This little shit took off running holding the pen in the air like he just robbed a bank and running away with a million dollars. But the police are pretty funny, they SHUUU the kids away and throw rocks at them. Its a funny site, those kids are like gnats at a BBQ. Prob the funniest thing I have seen so far is: these people use donkeys to haul wheat and other such things, and the kids control them. Driving down the road you will see a wild donkey running away at about 3 miles per hour, and this little six year old chasing after him. You see this all the time. The donkeys are like I aint got time to play around with this kid.
About once a week I sit down and eat with the ASG (Afghan Security Guard) or the local elders of villages. The food is actually pretty good, a little different. You eat with your hands (rice, chicken, chili, spicy okra, etc). Yestarday we ate sheep. That wasnt all that good. Wild sheep. You could taste the gameyness of it. But i ate it. It all hasnt really agreed with my stomach. Havent had a solid poop in, well since ive been here. Kinda annoying.

But this week has gone by pretty well, finishing up inventoring all the equipment we will be getting, tracking down our containers with home station equipment, trying to get personnel here, and learning all the dos and donts. I hope everyone is doing well, HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to my wife and mothers. Love yall.

AFGHANISTAN

So couple days ago I landed in Bagram, Afghanistan. As soon as you get off the plane, mountains surround you. It is a beautiful sight. These mountains are nothing like the appalacians (SPELLING), and supposibly higher than the Rockies. There was snow still capped on the mountain tops. They are very rugged looking. Other than that, this is one crappy place, and for it to be considered a big FOB, i was highly not impressed. First off we stayed like 5 miles from the computers, telephones, internet, and the main area. We finally got ammo. I hate walking around out of the US without ammo. I walk with ammo in the US, so outside of it, was def a little creepy.
During my luxury stay at Bagram, I visited many places to eat, such as Diary Queen. Here they ran out of french fries and onion rings. I ordered a 4 piece chicken nuggest MEAL. The foreign man at the register wanted to bargain with me because the ran outta fries. He said 8 pieces of chicken, no fries, and no drink was the final offering deal. WHAT THE HECK. But whatever, that was lilke 5 minutes of argueing with the idiot. The I went to get a Coffee with ice (becuase it was hot there) from a local vendor and the woman at the register, also foreign, said WHATS ICE. I said never mind and walked away. There was several places like this where I just wanted to choke somebody. Strawberry smoothie doesnt mean strawberry banana, and it doesnt mean strawberry mango. It means STAWBERRY ONLY. Stupid. These people are dumber than Taco Bell workers. WOW. Its gonna be a long year.
Today I should be headed over to our main outpost were I will call home for at least half a year till I move to the Battalion main FOB (Foward Operating Base). The mountains arent as high as Bagram, but still in the distance. I just cant wait till I get to were I am staying so I wont have to tote my bags everywhere (duffle bag, tough box, backpack, computer bag, armor, m4, 9mm, rack system, helmet, etc). Kinda annoying. Get on the bus, get off the bus, get on the plane, get off the plane, stay in this building, no wait move your crap in this building, then get out of this building. AGAIN KINDA ANNOYING.
The good thing is I have talked with Celia several times and able to use the internet. Hearing her vioce is really nice, although I usually call her at 3 in the morning (your time). Someone has to make the sacrifice on time. I guess she can take one for the team. YOU LOVE DEAR. The next week will be hecktick, doing change of command inventories. Going through everybit of equipment and making sure if works and is there. Finding all our containers with our equipment in it. Making sure all personnel gets here. This should be fun, not really.
Well until the next post, hope all is well there in the States. Love yall, take care.

Airplane to Kuwait

So our plane came left about 11 pm for a NONstop flight to Kuwait. That equals 13 hours of flying with little leg room and two people sitting to either side of you. But actually it went by really fast. I prob will always fly first class. They pretty much had beds and their own cubicle. I was jealous. Each of the seats, although, had a TV in the head rest with movies of all types, to seasons on tv, to music videos, to CD's. I watched Sherlock Holmes, then feel asleep. Then I watched Men who stare at Goats, pretty dumb. Then I watched Its Complicated, very good. They plane served chicken with grits and green beans and turkey sandwitches. For snacks they game me cheese and crackers and I noticed the cheese looked more like a roma tomato. It was weird but the woman said it was cheese so I put it in between the two crackers and took a big ole bite. It was disgusting, almost threw up. Then I noticed you had to peel the WAX surrounding the cheese just to get to it. So I ate a big bite of WAX.

We landed in Kuwait 13 hours later and then it kinda hit me, we are in dirka land. The air was thick and salty and sandy..all mixed into one. I walked over to the bus and the driver was dirka with an orange rag on the head...crazy...but I liked the color, reminded me of Tennessee. After 6 hours of on the bus, off the bus, we finally arrived out our temporary destination of a camp in Kuwait. Sleeping in a big air conditioned tent. The sand is everywhere and its killing my eye allergies. Well i gotta get off here, breakfast is calling...been up since yestarday.

ADVON

Saying goodbye to Family and Friends is extremely hard. Knowing this will be the last time you see them for at least a year is difficult to imagine. One whole year. Seems like a long time, but this last year flew by, and the first 2 years of marriage went by like the speed of sound.

The last weekend in memphis was alot of fun. Friends and family all went to Beale Street for some good times and drinking. Went to Coyote Ugly and Silky Sullivans. Had a Diver (very good), never knew it was made with Miller Lite (the best beer in the world). After that was over received two letters from my best friend/couple. Very emotional and snaps me into reality. Im leaving them behind, hopefully not for to to long. Tyler just know Ill be carrying the beer tab with me (already on the chain). Ill have to return it to ya when I get back...

The day before I leave, Celia and I went to the Doctor for our last checkup together before I leave. Everything went well and they actually got us a same day ultrasound. Found out that day I will be a daddy to a little Boy. John Bryson. We were extremely excited. Boy is what I wanted, although I would be happy with a girl as well. My friend Eddie made a good point, now I can buy him season tickets to Tennessee Vols football games for his birthday, and of course he needs someone to go with him. I guess I can do that for him.

ADVON or advanced party is the people are of the peeps that go over first before everyone else to start getting things together for the company. Thursday, I say my goodbyes to family and Celia and I drive to the base. We take pictures and say our goodbyes. Missing the wife already, turn around and blow her a kiss. Cant turn back around now, just want to leave, to hard. We sit in the chow hall waiting on the bus to take us to the airport. SGM walks in and says Volcano erupting in Europe, cancelled flight for day, go back home.

Next day, say goodbyes again to family and Celia and I drive to base. Say our goodbyes AGAIN. Flight cancelled again till further notice. Still here in clarksville. What the heck. Celia and I are experts at saying Goodbye.